Tuesday 25th February

It was ‘nobbut a spit’ to Auckland from Tauranga as they say in Lancashire, or to put it in plain language, a very short distance. In the order of 150 miles. So it was not a surprise to wake up this morning and find that we had already arrived in Auckland the largest city in New Zealand and have been given pride of place in the town centre right opposite the old ferry terminal. Weather is perfect about 75°f [about 24°C for those of us who use proper units – Paul] and the sky full of cotton wool puffs of cloud. The Auckland skyline is not too overpowering as the majority of high-rise buildings are between fifteen and twenty-five stories high in the centre of the city with a sprinkling of smaller ones scattered around them to balance the effect. The further along the coast in each direction the lower the buildings.

We were off on a jaunt by 10:00am with our steerologist Paul (who honestly admitted that this was his first day on the job with comments like “jees this is bigger than my mini” but it turned out that he normally did cross country tours and it ‘really was’ his first day on the half day trips). pointing out all relevant points of interest with an extremely droll sense of humour which kept the whole coach entertained. The cathedral (a fairly modern looking building) was compared rather disparagingly as an Ikea cathedral, to the lovely old hand carved wooden one it replaced which still stands, but was moved to the other side of the road. Apparently because a lot of buildings are made of wood the New Zealanders make a habit of picking them up and shifting them elsewhere. Passing the television tower we craned our necks to see the people bungee jumping from the top without much luck, Carol said she saw one, but I’m not sure her eyesight is that good. We were taken to see where the wealthy lived in Auckland and before we got there Paul announced that we were about to see examples of how, just because an individual is blessed with a high net worth, does not necessarily mean they are blessed with good taste. Then mentioned that the people who lived there had asked for the tourist coaches to be banned from driving past their houses as they always seemed to be laughing. Not surprisingly as he then started to intone “oh! Honey I’d like to live in a house like a chocolate cake” as we drove past one that looked just like that. Then “oh! Honey I’d like to live in a house like a bunker” and so on, past the house that looked like a biscuit tin, a Neo Georgian manor house. He had a dry comment for every situation, but he knew his stuff for all that. Remind me to tell you about the Orange people, I don’t have time or space to tell you here. But it’s worth hearing.

On our way back down the hill we stopped and Paul asked for a minutes silence, as we all went quiet he asked us to look over the harbour and pay our respects, as it was there that the New Zealand Americas Cup team lost the cup to a landlocked nation. Switzerland! Sailing is a national obsession (there is one sailing boat to every four people here) and that was the ultimate humiliation.

Talking of sailing, that was where we headed for next, back down to the wharf where eight of us boarded a fifteen metre sailing ship for a trip round the harbour. There was a respectable breeze and after motoring out from the quayside we hoisted the sail and off we went heeling over until we were all in heap in the bottom of the boat. Well, not quite, until that is I took the helm and then I heard some bumps and squeals behind me. Turns out that Carol had got over familiar with a Japanese couple as we were at a good angle and cracking on a bit. Things got a bit interesting when the seaplane (Alpha one) took off heading straight towards us drawing curses from the captain as they were supposed to be warned before take-off in order to steer clear. Over our heads she flew just missing us, honest! got it on video. Well it might have been a bit higher. As we sailed under the harbour bridge there was a piercing scream from above and a body plunged towards the sea. Hearts in our mouths we watched in disbelief as it headed vertically for the water and just as it reached the surface it shot straight back up again before once more plunging earthwards. This happened several times with decreasing intensity until the unfortunate victim was finally hauled back up towards the bridge. Bungee jumping! What is it with New Zealanders that they want to throw themselves of any available high structure?

All too soon time was up and we headed back to the quayside once more encountering the bungee jumpers and Alpha one, landing this time, more curses as again no warning until after she had landed in front of us. Again got it on video. Tying up alongside we headed off into the town wandered around the shops etc. Until it was time for Carol to go back on board, (she had a hair appointment) so I wandered off to find WiFi with a pub attached. Found one but it only sold lager and Guinness so I had a Guinness. Had a problem getting the WiFi to work but the little Chinese girl behind the bar sorted it out for me. What is it about young girls behind bars who can work your phone better than you can? WiFi was exceedingly slow but I did manage to get some pictures away. Won-she told me it was the Internet in New Zealand that was to blame not the bar. Had to leave without all the pictures going as we were sailing early 5:30pm so legged it back on board and as Carol was still sitting with her hair wrapped in tinfoil, I went up to the Commodore club for a pint to watch as we sailed from Auckland. With many a blast on the ships siren, we backed out and picked our way carefully through the thousands (or so it seemed) sailing boats that were zigzagging all over the place like demented water boatmen. Have they got a death wish or what? We are a big ship and they disappeared from our sight beneath the bow on occasion. Carol finally turned up and I got the look when I asked as casually as I could “Oh were they closed?” Had to buy a cocktail for that little aside, when will I ever learn?